I Will Follow You Into the Dark
by charactersthatholdmyheart
Summary: Short Rizzles one-shot that is inspired by the song "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. Warning that this is dark and sad. But it's Rizzles all the way.


**Author's Note: I had the song "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" stuck in my head and this is what came out of it. I apologize if it's too sad or dark for some of you. This is just where my writing took me. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

_The time for sleep is now, but it's nothing to cry about because we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks then I'll follow you into the dark. _

I find her when I close my eyes and try to think of something good, something that grounds me. I find her when I'm the happiest, when I catch my reflection in the mirror and I'm grinning. Before her I don't think I ever smiled that big. I find her when I'm at my all time low, and my mind won't work and my heart won't stop beating too fast. She's right there beside me. Every time.

Now I find her in between two brick walls. This is not right. This is not where I should find her. She is sprawled out on the pavement in the dark passage of an alleyway and all I can think is that this is not right.

This is not reality. This is some terrible nightmare. It is just like the nightmares I have where there is blood leaking from her, spreading everywhere and I can't stop it.

Somehow I've gotten to her side and I'm pressing my hands against the wound in her stomach but the red just won't stop. Red is everywhere. I swing my head up and everything is blurry and moving slowly. I hear my voice. I'm shouting, pleading.

"Maura!" I call her name. "Maur, stay with me, please stay with me."

My voice sounds like it's cracking into thousands upon thousands of pieces and that's what my heart feels like so I suppose that's accurate.

I call for help, but it doesn't come fast enough. The seconds are ticking by and they are withering me away. They are destroying me because slowly time is destroying Maura, time is running out.

Then she is saying something, she is saying my name. My name falls from those lovely lips.

She reaches for my hand and squeezes and I am holding onto her hand so tightly, it is the strongest bond I have ever made. One that won't ever break no matter the force trying to pull me away.

"I love you, Jane. I love you." I didn't think there was anything in the world that could rise me up from the darkness I am in at this moment, but these words do just that.

I offer up my own love, my own battered heart which I know will never be good enough, never be whole and sweet like the love she gives to me. But I offer everything I have, and she takes it like it's the best thing she's ever been given.

She is grinning even though the pain most be unbearable. When I feel like the "I love yous" aren't enough I scoop her up in my arms and plant two kisses on her head and I find myself hoping that the love they carry makes it through that big brain of hers, that she understands how much love I have for her.

But none of this can hide the fact that she is dying. She is dying and I need to move her, get her to a place where people can fix her, because I am unable to. I begin to lift her in my arms, but she stops me. She explains that it's too risky to move her a lot considering where the wound is. It would most likely make things much worse. It physically pains me to do nothing but wait, but I do it. I call for help on my radio one more time, then I do it. I wait.

Because she won't let me run for help either. She now is wrapped around me like a vine and I don't have the heart to pull her off, to run away, to leave her alone.

"Just stay, just wait with me," she pleads in case the message wasn't clear.

I hold her, trying my best to put pressure on the gaping hole, and she sputters out words that feel like a hundred bullets piercing my chest: "I'm not afraid anymore. I was afraid of not being able to say goodbye to you."

Her eyes start to close, but I grab her face and they fall open again.

"Maura, you're not going anywhere. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay, sweetheart." One of my tears strikes her cheek. "And I'm right here, I'm right here with you. No one's going anywhere."

I will kill whoever did this to her. God, I will kill them.

They come then as if they could hear my call. They come back with their guns and their knives and their hatred. I stand tall, shielding Maura as best I can, one warrior against three men. They come back to finish the job or to take more from her, whatever they can get their hands on. But there will be no more taking on there part. No more.

I hear the bullet before I feel it. It sounds final. I try to run, but it finds me. It feels like it rips through me, everything I have. But I still find the power to fire back, everything I need in life is lying right behind me. So I am able to get off four shots striking two right in the heart, and scaring one off.

My right side feels as though someone has lit it on fire. Scorching, burning, but it doesn't hurt as bad as the knowledge that Maura is dying. My light is fading away.

I lay down next to her. It's more like falling actually. I don't have the strength to do anything else. She is crying. Those beautiful hazel eyes are filled with such sadness.

"Oh, Jane. Jane."

There's fear in her eyes now, in her voice. For me. She's terrified. So am I. But I don't want her to be scared anymore. She's been afraid and lonely almost all of her life.

I reach for her and she's already grabbed ahold of my jacket, pulling me up against her. I wrap my arm around her tightly and she reaches up and strokes my hair back.

It is incredible how much we match. As we hold each other, my side puts pressure on the wound in her stomach and her shoulder puts pressure on my wounded chest. We lie there on the pavement, forming a bleeding heart—but a heart that is still beating. Our bodies desperately try and help each other to live, but they are dying.

"Don't be scared," I whisper. I feel her nod slowly, her hold on me tightens. I try to block out the pain and think of something good, something to tell Maura. I smile, remembering the time we went to California together just for a little get away. We had been driving and stopped on top of a cliff to check out the amazing view. It was close to the edge, narrow, but we stood there and looked down below. I discovered her fear of heights that night. She wrapped her arms around me and wouldn't let go until we were one hundred feet away from the drop. But it had been worth the view. And the feeling of Maura in my arms.

"Hey," I whisper into her hair. "Remember that view in California?"

She nods. "It was so breathtakingly beautiful," she gets out. "Scary, but beautiful."

"Yea, exactly. It was scary, but I was right there with you."

"You made me feel safe."

I smile, choking back a few more tears. "Well, I know this is…terrifying, Maur. But I am right here with you this time too. Alright?"

I feel her sob against me and I can't breathe. But then I feel her lips brush against my cheek, soft, sweet. A kiss. It is bliss. I hold her more tightly to me.

"We've done so much together."

"Yeah."

"You've always been there. And you're here now." She shifts slightly to be able to meet my eyes and I hear her gasp a little in pain. "I always feel safe with you, Jane. Like everything will be okay."

"I'll always be right there with you, no matter where you go, Maur. No matter what happens. Alright?"

Our lips find each other.

We are desperate to breathe life into one another, to send a chance to live along with the love.

* * *

**Reviews are greatly appreciated 3**


End file.
